;; life is [not] blissful ;;

[scarlett london]

looking at herself but wishing she was someone else,

[/color]cause the body of the doll doesn't look like her at all[/i]
---------------------------------------------------------------[/size][/font][/center]Scarlett walked into the library, feeling a bit sorry for herself. This place was seriously lame. Like she hadn't been dreading college enough already. All it was to her was drama, drama, drama. Of course, Scarlett had been the creator of drama back in her high school. Drama was her forte'. To her, the only thing that might give her any excitement for the next several years would be to wreak havoc at the little university. That's what she'd done all her life, that's who she was. She had chosen this small school because of the fact. Sure, her grades weren't really good enough to get into a good school. But grades aren't everything. The thing is: money has alot more to do with it. It was easy when you had money. Money equaled connections. Connections equaled power. But she wanted this school. Her mother never understood why. Her mother never understood Scarlett at all. As a matter of fact, her mother didn't understand anything. It wasn't exactly fair to Scarlett to have this sort of a relationship with her mother. She hadn't done anything that was really wrong. At least, not that her mother knew anyway. Her mom used to care. "Used to" are key words. Not that Scarlett minded. She mostly preferred it that way. Mostly. Some part of her, buried in the depths of her soul had to have been...hurt. That is...if Scarlett even had a soul. So many masks she had worn over the years, and yet none had ever been taken off. Not once. They simply built and built, until there was perhaps no person left. Maybe, once one by one the layers were pealed off, one would find her. But who knows what "her" would be there to be seen. If anyone at all.

Scarlett glanced into the library. She almost snorted as she saw the people sitting around, gathered up in their pitiful little books. She almost felt sorry for them; poor creatures, their noses stuck in books as their life slowly dwindles away. She supposed they didn't even notice. Of course they didn't. They were a completely different species than Scarlett. Possibly not even human. She walked in, bored out her mind, nothing else to do. She carried her head proudly. She wasn't doing this on purpose; it was just something that came naturally to her. She didn't feel like sitting down; she'd done enough of that already. She'd already been here a year. She hated it. No one to see. No where to go. Nothing. This year, she hoped it would be different. She hadn't even started the game yet; this was the longest she'd gone so far without preying on a victim. Of course she'd decided this needed to stop; she needed the game. Perhaps that was on her mind as she made her way into the library. For now, she was just standing there. Standing there, staring at the helpless people, buried in their books.

so she straps it on, she sucks it in, she throws it up, and gives a grin
laughing at herself because she knows she ain't that at all

[/i]
---------------------------------------------------------------[/size][/font][/center]

[Clarissa Swanson]

Clarissa smiled at the woman behind the desk and slipped her library card back into her back pocket. With a bit of effort, she scooped up the heavy pile of books she'd just checked out and winced as their hard, leather covers dug into her stomach. They must have weighed thirty pounds, but she wasn't going to complain. She could manage, after spending most of her life working on a ranch. but she was disappointed in herself. This should be easy, picking up a couple of heavy books. It wasn't. At least, not as easy as it should have been.

"Ahem. If you're done, then move along. You're holding up the line."

Clarissa looked back at the librarian, a sharp-nosed lady with glasses and gray hair tied into a tight bun. “Sorry,” she mumbled, and waddled – unable to walk any other way because of the books – towards the door. She glanced back and noticed no line forming at the desk and the librarian quickly pulling out a snack bar. She rolled her eyes and continued walking, the books still pushing against stomach.

The thoughts continued to trouble her, and she shook her head to shake them away. She was homesick. She missed her five brothers. Even her pessimistic mother and quiet father. Even though her family wasn’t perfect or rich or well-known, she loved them. Family was family, after all.

As her thoughts began to wander and change topics as they usually did, Clarissa stopped watching where she was going. It was a bad habit. And a bad idea. Blam! Clarissa slammed into something. Or, more accurately, her books slammed into something. Or was it someone? Either way, she didn’t have much time to think about that, because next thing she knew, she was lying on the floor and covered in her textbooks. Heavy textbooks.

“Oh crap...” she muttered, sitting up and rubbing her arm. Her head hurt and she moaned as she saw the books scattered before her.

[scarlett london]

looking at herself but wishing she was someone else,

[/color]cause the body of the doll doesn't look like her at all[/i]
---------------------------------------------------------------[/size][/font][/center]A young woman walked towards the exit. Scarlett's eyes were currently diverted, glaring at young man, dumbfounded. He'd already gone through an entire book in the time she'd been here. Which hadn't been very long. Scarlett couldn't stay anywhere very long, let alone a library. She kept staring. And staring more. She was so focused, that she obviously didn't see what was coming next. The young woman, her arms loaded with books, was coming her way. And suddenly--BAM. Scattered books landed all over the floor. Scarlett had been knocked at least a foot away from where she'd been standing. She was absolutely shocked. And mortified! There was hardly ever a human being who didn't notice her. (In her mind, anyway.) She wasn't someone you generally missed. But an idea crossed her mind, even if only for a split second. What if the girl had done it on purpose?! Scarlett was suddenly furious. And then humiliated as she realized the girl might be gay. But only for a split second. And then she was back to normal. Her eyebrows raised, she smoothed out her hair and re-adjusted her shirt. "Oh crap..." the girl said, sitting up, after being knocked to the floor. Scarlett felt some sort of unknown pity for the girl, and bent down to help her pick up her books. As she picked up the first book, (a rugged one, that looked like it could have been on the earth for centuries at least), she sighed. "Look, I don't usually do this sort of thing, so could you hurry up and help me?" She was extremely annoyed. But she was causing a scene, and of course, to her that made it all the better. She loved being the center of attention. It was something she lived for. She realized how rude she was being. "Sorry. I'm Scarlett. You?" She gave sort of a crooked grin. A forced smile.

so she straps it on, she sucks it in, she throws it up, and gives a grin
laughing at herself because she knows she ain't that at all

[/i]
---------------------------------------------------------------[/size][/font][/center]

[Clarissa Swanson]

Her head was still spinning when a voice floated towards her. Clarissa blinked and looked up to see another girl who looked to be around her age. Age was probably the only thing they had in common. This girl was... something else. In the small town of Round Top, Texas, you didn't see a lot of people dressed like... like this girl. Anyone who did would immediately be the topic of interest by the townspeople. Clarissa suddenly felt self-conscious.

"Oh! Um. Name's Clarissa," she stammered, wondering why this girl wasn't already stomping off. Her mind slowly came to realize what had happened, and everything finally clicked into place. Suddenly, she was her energetic self again.

"I'm sorry! Omigosh, I'm so very sorry!" she suddenly exclaimed, scrambling to her feet. She scooped up a large dictionary and held it to her chest. The old Texan draw that could only be picked up from living in the countryside was shining through her speech as she continued to apologize, and she didn't notice.

Stupid! Stupid! she yelled in her head, scolding herself. Letting your thought distract you like that! What would Ma say?! She didn't notice the heads turning to stare at her or hear the librarian clicking her tongue in disapproval. Silly, silly, silly!

[scarlett london]

looking at herself but wishing she was someone else,

[/color]cause the body of the doll doesn't look like her at all[/i]
---------------------------------------------------------------[/size][/font][/center]The girl begun to stammer something out, that Scarlett didn't really catch. It was interesting, seeing these two together. They were absolutely nothing alike. One girl, from Texas, complete with a southern draw and everything, wearing very plain, everyday clothing, with simple brown hair, and a pretty face. The other, wearing every color on the face of the earth, from blue, to pink, to green all in the same outfit, leaving others to wonder how she was even standing now, with all of her accessories weighing her down like that. Her hair was waist-length, black, and very crazy. These two girls were absolutely nothing alike. But yet here they were, picking up these old books. Scarlett had a faint, but smug smile on her face as she helped the girl. She may have felt pity, possibly. Maybe it was a new game she had developed, though probably not. She was way too taken with her other one to start an entire new series of cruelty. Besides, she didn't have much against girls (well, this girl anyway.) She was much too innocent. Guys were never innocent in Scarlett's "humble" opinion. The offender suddenly started to apologize, obviously embarrassed. Scarlett wondered quickly what she do. She could leave. She could stay and talk. She could insult the girl (she started to favor this option), or she could pretend everything was alright (which it was.) Scarlett couldn't decide. But she noticed how absolutely helpless the girl seemed. She decided that this girl must've not known anything about the real world. It was really kind of sad, actually. Pitiable, even. She moaned softly, knowing she would have to be nice, or go on feeling guilty about it for several days. When Scarlett was mean, she was mean, there was no in between. "It's alright, I suppose, just try to not be such a klutz next time," she said exasperated. This was Scarlett's version of being nice. She handed the girl the last book. "What the heck do you plan on doing with all these freaking books anyway?" she asked, bewildered.

so she straps it on, she sucks it in, she throws it up, and gives a grin
laughing at herself because she knows she ain't that at all

[/i]
---------------------------------------------------------------[/size][/font][/center]

[Clarissa Swanson]

Her face was flushed in embarrassment as she scrambled to pick up the books. For some reason, they suddenly seemed heavier, but this time Clarissa didn't stop to think about that. Her apologies faded, and she collected the last two books off the ground, still blushing.

"It's alright, I suppose, just try to not be such a klutz next time."

Clarissa looked up and smiled at the girl, taking the book from her hands. "Sorry, miss, I didn't see you... my mind was somewhere else," she said, laughing. She took a closer look at the girl, who was wearing clothes and accessories of possibly every color. Clarissa herself was only wearing faded jeans, a simple button-up blouse, and her favorite riding boots. A rattlesnake necklace was tied by a piece of leather string around her neck. Simple.

"I have lots of work to catch up to," Clarissa replied, grimacing. "I've got to do some research on the seventeenth century and start getting into character.... The world doesn't wait for inexperienced people, you know." She smiled again, not wanting to sound like a babbling fool. She glanced down at the books in her arms, and knew she didn't really need to do this much research for one part. Still, she liked to be ready. She didn't want to have to go back home and be a farmer. She wanted to go... everywhere. Broadway. Hollywood. Still, was it her destiny to be an actress? Or was she supposed to be a poor farmer's wife, like her mother? The thought made her frown to herself as she once again sunk into her negative thoughts.

[scarlett london]

looking at herself but wishing she was someone else,

[/color]cause the body of the doll doesn't look like her at all[/i]
---------------------------------------------------------------[/size][/font][/center]Scarlett noticed when the girl looked her up and down. It was only a quick glance, but those type of things aren't very hard to notice when you're a natural observer. Oh, and Scarlett was a natural observer. Half the time she spent simply staring at people (alot of the time she didn't even notice that she might be freaking them out, slightly), so she would know just how to act when something particular happened. She had an entire database filled with how to's for certain situations--how to handle them as a "generally nice person". She wasn't a "generally nice person", but Scarlett liked to come off that way. Sometimes. Others, like this time, she was just being her plain ol' self. Scarlett heard the girl laugh at herself. She didn't know why, but it made her a little uncomfortable. Perhaps a tiny bit guilty for being somewhat rude to this...innocent (besides this lil incident) person. This girl was the real thing. A generally nice person. It was rare to come across someone like this in these times. Scarlett mouth slowly dropped as she heard the girl's explanation. She had to be kidding. There was absolutely no way that she could be that serious about acting. Scarlett liked acting. Sure. It was something she did twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. She couldn't help it, really. That's just what happened. So it couldn't be that hard to get into a character, right? She had been acting all her life. She couldn't remember a time when she wasn't acting. If she wasn't fooling someone else; she was fooling herself. "You mean...those are all to help you act?" She had an eyebrow raised as she stared at the girl. "Are you really that into this whole college thing?" she said as she looked around, motioning with her hands. This girl was weird.

so she straps it on, she sucks it in, she throws it up, and gives a grin
laughing at herself because she knows she ain't that at all

[/i]
---------------------------------------------------------------[/size][/font][/center]